Not your Hallmark kind of Mother's Day

It's been pretty quiet around here this weekend.  It's the first time, in a long time, that we've had nothing to do.  As life would have it though, that's been a very good thing.  Little Miss has been quite sick.  A high fever two days in a row warranted a visit to the doctor this afternoon.  Not exactly how I imagined spending Mother's Day, but there's certainly no where else I'd rather be than taking care of the one who made me a Momma.  Happy Mother's Day to all you moms out there (mine included-love you mom)!

 Hanging out at the Mother's Day brunch at preschool on Friday

 My awesome Mother's Day present- they say "Toms loves Moms"

Five Minute Friday: Identity

Today I'm linking up with The Gypsy Mama for her Five Minute Friday.  The idea is "to throw caution to the wind and just write, to share what five minutes buys them. Just five minutes. Unscripted. Unedited. Real."  Today's prompt is Identity, so here we go:

I never really realized how much my identity was caught up in what I do until I became a mom.  I tell people all the time that when we had Sadie it felt like somebody pulled the rug out from underneath my feet, both literally and metaphorically speaking.  I went from having a plan/feeling confident in said plan 99.9% of the time to feeling completely clueless. 

The first few months I was in pure survival mode so I didn't really see the identity crisis happening.  But once I reemerged into the world from a sleep deprived fog, it slapped me in the face.  Sure I was still a campus minister but my time there had been greatly reduced.  Somehow I had decided (in my silly head) that being a mom wasn't quite as valuable as working full-time in a real job, I felt like I had no purpose anymore.  I think you see where that's headed.  I was an emotional wreck with multiple meltdowns that strangely are quite similar to the temper tantrums my 16 month old is throwing these days. 

stop.

*editor's note: so this whole typing just for 5 minutes was a lot harder than I thought.  Perhaps I'll finish this stream of thought sometime next week.  Leaving it without a conclusion is killing me, but that's what I'm supposed to do!

Midweek Confessions

  

In an effort to be more authentic, I'll be linking up with Elizabeth from E, Myself, & I on Wednesdays to share my not so perfect moments.

•  Yesterday I ate at least 6 chocolate chip cookies for lunch.  In my defense I had a big breakfast around 10 o'clock (I can tell these honesty posts are going to include a lot of "in my defense" phrases).
• As much as I like to tell people I'm not obsessed with my iPhone I totally am.  I check Facebook/Twitter/Email a lot (I should count for next week's post).  Sadie totally acts out when I do this too.  It goes a little something like this, "No Sadie, don't stick your hand in Mabel's water dish.  (looks down at phone) What?  Megan Fox is pregnant. (hears squeals, looks up)  Ahhh, that is not a bathtub Sadie!"  
• Speaking of social media, sometimes when I'm talking to people in real life, I act like what they're telling me is the first time I've ever heard it.  Really I've already read it on FB/Twitter, I just don't know how to tell them without seeming rude.  Any ideas on what the proper etiquette is for these situations?  
• Nic has been waking up early to exercise.  Sometimes when his alarm clock goes off I totally act like I'm still asleep or "play dead" as I like to call it.  I did acknowledge this to him last night, his response "Oh I know."     

Eeeek, I can not believe I just posted some of those things on the world wide web.  Don't judge me!  
 

Jars of Clay

I have a confession to make: I'm a self-diagnosed perfectionist.  I've known it for a LONG time but I've just recently decided to make it public.  It's probably why (read: it is why) I haven't blogged in almost two months.  Every time I sit down to blog I struggle to know what to write about and then I convince myself no one cares anyway so why waste my time.  It takes me 10x longer than a normal person to write a short post because I type something and then delete it (like I'm doing now) at least 5 times per sentence. Heaven forbid it not sound right or gasp, have a typo! 

In all honesty though, I'm kind of a hot mess or an oxymoron rather.  In small group settings I've been known to be honest to a fault, at least in most areas of my life, but there are so many other parts of my life I think I might die if someone really knew about.  All because, gasp (note the dramatic turn this post is taking), they might see that I'm not so perfect after all.  I feel like Nic has to give me the 'ole "You're not perfect and nobody expects you to be" speech at least once a month and each time he says it I die a little bit more inside (love you babe-keep it up because I need it). 

I've been going through a bible study on 2 Corinthians and yesterday I read "During New Testament times, clay pots were big business.  Since each jar of clay was handmade, it was inevitable that it had some cracks.  Everyone knew about the cracks.  But since it was big business, the people selling the clay pots would cover the cracks with wax.  It was all a game.  Like those pots we're handmade by God, completely unique.  But since we live in a fallen world, some cracks are inevitable.  In other words, everyone knows about the cracks ."  Imagine my dismay when I read on to see "That's because people don't need to see how perfect Christians are; they need to see how powerful God is (Partow, 2003)."

Really?  You mean somebody else, besides Nic of course, knows I'm not perfect after all?  I'd love to say reading this gave me ultimate freedom from the back breaking weight of perfectionism, but it didn't.  In fact I think I could've written a 5-page paper on why this doesn't apply to me after reading it.  As much as I hate to admit it though, it's true, I'm not perfect, and apparently I'm the last person in the world to know it. 

Obviously I'm exaggerating a bit but if you watched the way I act sometimes, you'd say I lived as if I believed this was true.  Thus begins my quest: my quest to be more honest with myself and to tear down the wall that years of perfectionism has built between me and the world.  My hope is through blogging a bit more, I can document the journey.  I do certainly believe that there is a line between being honest and sharing too much that you must walk tightly at times.  But it's time to let you in on what goes on in this crazy mind of mine and not just put my best foot forward all the time.  Hang on, it's a little crazy in there!

Quack Quack

Sadie's new favorite animal is a duck. In fact, this morning we took advantage of the Virginia Tech Duck Pond and went to check them out in real life.

Wait, come back Mr. & Mrs. Duck!

And who could resist a cute kid quacking :)?

Pic/tures

Our first substantial snow of the season, in February! It took us 20 minutes to get all bundled up and 5 minutes into being outside Sadie face planted into the snow and in we went! There's always next year I guess :).

My teeth hurt Momma.

I know this is a terrible picture of her but the girl is learning to actually SMILE for the camera and I couldn't not share it (teenager Sadie will probably not be very happy with me for posting this photo and for that I am sorry Sadie)!

Enjoying a cupcake on Superbowl Eve

Her first trip to Walmart. Yep, you read that right.

Good Morning Beautiful and how was your night?

This is what happens when your kid picks up your Bible and instead of immediately grabbing it, you run for your camera because "Sadie reading the Bible would make such a cute photo op." Forgive me Lord.

Sweet Revenge

(Warning this post is not for those weak of stomach)

Nic is away at school this weekend and while I am VERY grateful for the opportunity for him to further his education, it can sometimes get a little difficult here on the home front.

Case in point today. I decided to get out this afternoon with Little Miss for some lunch and shopping. We headed to Chick-Fil-A because where else do you go for lunch on a Saturday in Southwest VA (do you notice a theme in my life)? Anyways, things were going swimmingly. I was single parenting it up. Sadie was strapped in her high chair, eating her chicken nuggets and fruit cup, when we saw Him. The life-sized Chick-Fil-A cow emerged from the kitchen and I saw Sadie's eyes fill with terror.

I must mention this is not our first run in with Mr. Cow. In fact the last time we were at Chick-Fil-A he visited all the little children, eager to shake his paw or give him a high five but not Sadie, she screamed and cried at the top of her lungs, clinging to her mom & dad for dear life, pleading with her eyes to make him disappear. Today was no different. As soon as she caught sight of him, she stopped eating and starting holding her arms out towards me. I started packing up because I knew this couldn't end well. Well, as luck would have it the kids at the two tables next to us LOVED Mr. Cow and in fact one little girl posed with him for like 5 pictures, all the while Sadie screamed. Finally he left but only to reemerge with armfuls of mini-little cows. He made his rounds, delivering a mini-cow to each child, and as I'm scarfing down what's left of my lunch, he arrives at our table. I think he gave us a mini-cow as a sort of peace offering to Sadie and consolation gift to me, "Here lady, sorry I made your kid cry." Shortly after we left.

Here is Little Miss in the car seat enjoying her mini-cow, far, far away from Mr. Cow in the magical land known as the Barnes and Noble parking lot.


Anyways, we continued our shopping adventure and finally headed home. Sadie fell asleep in her car seat and was not particularly happy with me when I had to wake her up to carry her inside the house. Not one minute after we get into the house I hear Sadie start gagging. I know what's coming, so all I can do is plant my feet and weather the storm. She starts projectile vomiting all over herself, me, and anything within 5 feet of us. I look down and I'm still holding all our recent purchases including mini-cow, who is now covered in vomit. After I got everyone and everything cleaned up, I debated for a brief second what to do with mini-cow. Needless to say he is now enjoying his new home in our garbage can. I think this is all Sadie's way of saying "Take that Mr. Cow, who gets the last laugh now?"