The Infamous Pity Party

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I know how to throw a good party. A pity party that is. It starts out something like this "Nothing ever goes my way" or "Nobody likes me" and unfortunately it only goes down hill from there. Imagine for a second a snowball rolling down one of the Rocky Mountains, as it rolls it picks up more and more snow and by the time it's at the bottom it's gotten so big it can crush you. Welcome to my life.

Most of the time I love being a woman. I love the privilege of being a mom and a wife, doing girly things, and so so much more but there are times I literally despise it. Like when I'm alone with my thoughts and all my mind can dwell on is the negative. Don't get me wrong I recognize life is hard. People are messy. I'm messy. Lately I've found myself longing for the restoration that Jesus will bring when He returns to Earth. But I can not allow myself to keep living this way. The snowball is waiting.

God promises in Philippians 4:6-7 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." This *coincidentally* enough is one of my memory verses so far this year. As I seek to move out of the way of the snowball or heck, get rid of it all together, I am realizing more and more I not only need to know God's promises but be willing to put them into action and BELIEVE them.

It's quite easy for me just to memorize them. There's a part of me (let's be honest there's a whole lot more than just a part), that loves the feeling you get when you accomplish something. If my husband would let me I honestly think I would put a star chart on my refrigerator recording every verse I memorize (identity or self worth problem you say? we'll save that for another post). But if I got a star for every time I applied those truths to my life and believed them, my chart would be empty. Unfortunately I let my emotions and feelings get in the way and before long I've completely forgotten what God has to say about it all. Lately my prayer has been that when those thoughts flood my mind I would look to Him first rather than that snowball. And maybe, just maybe, some day I'll throw a "no more pity parties" party.